Skin for Science

I've embarked on a new adventure as a human guinea pig for a facial cleanser study. Have you ever "participated" in one of these? Well, I hadn't and thought it would be interesting. Since I studied marketing, there's a good chance I'll soon be working for a firm that would render me unable to do one of these, and I really wanted to be on this side of the lab bench before I get to the office.



My first impression: I am disheartened that the study "assistants" have no idea what half the things in my current skincare regime are. (OK, granted, half my product labels are in Sanskrit, but really you've never heard of Coconut oil or MAC?)

First encounter: The cleanser smells and feels like dish detergent. I am wrecking my skin for science? Oh, I'm scared.

Wash-rinse-repeat offender: Its not so bad. I wash my face in a bathroom with a 2-way mirror, then an adorable old Chinese guy then prods me with this thing that resembles the old Star Trek tri-corder. cool. I go home and basically just do what I do, just without my beloved Cetaphil.

The honeymoon is OVER: week 2; OMG. My face has turned into lizard skin. I have also confirmed my suspicions about the scent. Its the exact same one that AMC movie theatre has in the ladies washroom hand soap. Oh, I feel cheap! Help!

Beauty school dropout?: The staff have noticed my discomfort and asked if I still want to participate. Yes, I will suck it up for science. My boyfriend has agreed to put up with lizard-face IF I put the proceeds toward a fabulous party for his birthday. Done and DONE. Don't threaten ME with a good time.

Show me the money!: Cetaphil, I love you so. I miss you and I promise never, ever to cheat on you again...even if they are paying me.

The Art and Science of flying under the radar (and why it never works out the way you intended)

If you have a "friend" you're suddenly not seeing as much of as you would like, or your txts are suddenly not being returned you may want to check yourself. Here are my 4 top reasons for ducking under the friend-dar:

a.) Nefarious intentions. Yours and/or mine. Enough said?
b.) You have personal drama I don't wish to be caught up in.
c.) You kept something from me that impacts my life and I had to find out about it from somebody else. This makes you a liar and liars make crappy friends. We call those "acquaintances" on my planet.
d.) You insist on spending your time around people who suck, literally; your life, your finances, your time, etc. You could realize they're dragging you down, but you don't. Instead, you make excuses for why you refuse to move on/grow up/set some sort of personal goals. That makes me sad for you, but pity is another one of those things I don't really have time for.




If you read this blog, you know I occasionally have a good reason to fly under the radar these days. (Stalkers are hard to shake and John, from Gabon's barely english txts get old!) I have realized that the less I am around on the public circuit, the less I say about my general life situation the more it leads to speculation and neighbors randomly dropping by to "check on me" (or should I say "check on US" now that I'm no longer single?) Look, if I wanted you to be in on the goings-on, I'd invite you to dinner. Have you received a dinner/brunch/drinks/dog-walking invitation recently? Congratulations, you do not suck entirely as a human being. I see some redeeming value to your existence on my planet.




Yes, you heard correctly. MY planet.